Reminiscing

Any given day I find myself daydreaming about various things. Mostly, I find myself wandering down streets and roads that I used to travel, meeting up with friends and family, and passing days together doing the things I did ritually for years and years. I often dream of being back at my parents, grandparents, or aunt and uncles houses, celebrating holidays or just meeting up for a Sunday lunch. I think of evening walks with my mother and brothers eating big bags of pan-popped popcorn as we watched movies together and weekends going to parks and just driving around town. I also think of countless nights with my cousins that we spent playing outside, trick-or-treating, collecting cards, watching movies, and playing video games. My thoughts also wander back to my favorite town in the world, Matsumoto, and all of the wonderful memories I made there.

It is hard to express to people how special Matsumoto is to me. I could spend days explaining every detail of the town and show you picture upon picture of my favorite places, but it is impossible to explain in words the feeling in the air, the smells, and the timelessness of the city. I also have similar thoughts about my small town.  Despite it's shortcomings and lack of things to do, Stillwater is my hometown and I will always be connected to it. I don't know if it comes from being an Oklahoman, but I really have a strong connection to my home state and it's people. I really do feel a strong connection to the land. I have lived in one of the biggest cities in the world and traveled to Tokyo and other large cities numerous times, but despite there being an abundance of things to do and see, I still feel more at home in a small quiet town. I always will. That is who I am. Quiet streets lined with trees, parks, and people who remember you by name. I can blend into the big city now with no problem, but I am a small town boy at heart and always will be.

 I am not like some expats that move away from their country for a political reason. Instead, I am a man who has an unquenchable thirst to see the world and experience as many things as I can while I am able to. There are many things in my country that I do not agree with; guns, hate against gays, and a crappy medical system, but home is home. I don't know if I am remembering some obscure quote from the Lord of the Rings, but I don't think one can go on a journey and not come back a changed man. I am a man living in three places at once. My experiences have shaped who I am and helped  form the opinions and beliefs I have. 

I have missed many things in the time I have spent abroad besides holidays and birthdays. This past year I lost my great Uncle Bill and my grandmother Iona. I miss both of them very much. I think about the years I spent working for Uncle Bill and my Aunt Wanda and all of the conversations we had, holidays we spent together, and all of the family lunches we shared. My great uncle was a great man and I am very proud to be his great nephew. He accomplished a lot in his life and was a well-known and respected man in our community. I will miss his wisdom and wit. He was one of the best story tellers I know and always had good advice to offer.

My grandmother Iona was also a wonderful woman who was loved by family and friends alike. She was a wonderful mother and grandmother who was loved by so many people. I have countless memories of times we spent together at their house in the forest and different Thanksgivings and Easters we passed together. She is one of the people who helped to foster my love of birds and nature.  That is a gift that I will forever be thankful for. I think of her and my grandpa Guy every time I see a bird and smell a pine forest. I miss her a lot, but I know now that her and Papa are together again in heaven and that makes me happy.  

I will soon move to Bangkok to start a new journey with Soojeong. I don't know where life will take me, and to be honest, I am not too worried. I have Soojeong and I know that with my Okie determination and work ethic, I will find work and do the best job I can. It makes me sad that there are things I will miss while I am gone, but now is the time of my life to see the world and do what I have always dreamed to do so I hope that all of my family and friends understand. I am very proud of Soojeong for her bravery and courage of taking a job in Thailand so that we could start a new journey together. I know that it hasn't been easy for her to look for an apartment, buy things to furnish it, and explore by herself, and I am sorry that I couldn't be there to help. I will be moving there within a month. Please wait just a little longer dear!  

I leave you all with a link to a song that has been stuck in my  head as I write this. I think the lyrics can put into words what my poor attempt at expressing feelings can't.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=06zOrHRh-gY